Top 5 New Year's Resolutions You've Probably Already Broken

Regret the big game you talked on New Year's Eve? Bragged to all your friends that you were going to quit this bad habit or start that productive activity? And now a few weeks have passed and you're starting to rationalize why it is okay to break that resolution? Sound familiar?

Here are the Top 5 New Year's Resolution that you've probably already broken.

It turns out work sucks a little bit more without all those 5-minute breaks. And really, why do you need to quit now? Medical science will probably have a cure for lung cancer by the time you get it, and, according to the tobacco execs, nobody has made the link between cigs and lung cancer anyway. You can just quit for lent, or when you move into your new apartment, or when you have kids.

• First you have to get to the gym, then you have to take off 20 layers of clothes, then get dressed in unflattering work-out attire, then realize how out-of-shape you really are, then put the 20 layers of clothes back on while you are sill sweating, and finally go outside to have the sweat freeze to your face. Sounded a little better in theory, right? Besides you only joined because you wanted to take a few classes, but they all conflict with your work schedule. I mean it's much easier to make smug comments about how you are too busy and successful to have time to work-out than it is to actually work-out.
• But you just got a Droid or an iPhone, and how are you suppose to get your monies worth if you don't use the Facebook App? Social media is the way of the future, and more companies are becoming active on it. If you quit now you will be behind the curve and it will be bad for your career. Also, MySpace just laid off 1/2 their staff because of people like you, so stop ruining the economy and reactivate your profile. See, that was easy to rationalize.
• Look, it's not your fault that all the good vegetables and fruits aren't in season right now. It's Jewel-Osco and Mother Nature's fault you can't eat healthily like you told everyone who would listen on New Years Eve. I mean with all the preservatives they have to use in fruits and veggies this time of year, it would be healthier to simply eat red meat and empty carbs. Dropping an extra few lbs that can be covered up with a sweater is not worth the risk of cancer that comes with all those preservatives. Seriously, have you tasted fat free hot chocolate? It's gross and dick to take off the shelves when it could go to a nice family of diabetics.
• This one is the worst idea ever. First, way to pick a really tough month to quit drinking. You can't even get beer from the liquor store without it freezing on the way home. If you really want to impress people, quit drinking for the month of July when you have two weddings and 20 possible beach days. Way to sacrifice missing that rager over the MLK 3-day-weekend…. Second, you can’t possibly be quitting for health reasons because your liver is not going to notice that for one month in 2011 you didn’t booze, and it's not like you can put this month on layaway for lent in order to keep in JC’s good graces. Sorry, paying it forward doesn't work like that. Lastly, the Bears are currently in the heart of the playoffs, and you might as well be Stalin if you aren't going to drink and watch the Bears play America's game. Grow up.

5. Quitting Cigs
It turns out work sucks a little bit more without all those 5-minute breaks. And really, why do you need to quit now? Medical science will probably have a cure for lung cancer by the time you get it, and, according to the tobacco execs, nobody has made the link between cigs and lung cancer anyway. You can just quit for lent, or when you move into your new apartment, or when you have kids. Continue ►